But, you know, we're not getting any younger. Each hour counts more than it used to. There could be an earthquake that knocks over the Golden Gate Bridge. Time is Money. (Except that we're theatre reviewers so, ha ha ha, no.) Still. Dysfunctional times call for exceptional responses.
As for "Baba Yaga," Lance Gardener's newest production at Marin Theater Company, written by Kat Sandler, let's just say that when I asked my wife why she didn't insist that we stay for Act Two, after 20+ years of insisting that we show enough respect to the actors to remain in our seats for the entire production, no matter how cringy Act One had been, her answer, tonight, was "I was afraid I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I kept passing out."
I wanted to slap the actor (I will not say his name) playing the two male leads (each actor plays several parts). It wasn't his fault, he was saying the lines written by the playwright while following the director's orders to make sure his characters were so supercilious and insincere that the audience won't mind when, presumably, they are killed and eaten by the witch in Act Two.
But it's hard to watch.
The two female leads were trying really hard to pretend to fall for these pathetic young men. The older woman was going to kill the detective, clearly, or at the very least strip him of his bones and grind them down to sprinkle on her vegetables. The younger woman just seemed...empty, as if she had fallen down a well and no one had called Lassie.
It is possible that this whole thing is a spoof and that Act Two will pay it all off. I may have missed the joke: it has happened before and I won't know until tomorrow when I poll those reviewers whose partners would not let them leave. To be honest, there was lots of squealy laughter from one particular spot in the center of the audience, perhaps from relatives who live deep in the forest and don't get out much. They thought it absolutely spectacular that the young man would kiss the older woman. Can you imagine! Old people kissing! They applauded and whistled.
There is one big positive: The Super-Duper Burger across the street is as good as ever.
RATINGS: ★
You get one Star just for showing up.
The San Francisco Theater Blog Awards Division knows how difficult this business is. We are not mentioning actors' names, for search-engine purposes. But for the sake of our readers, if you do attend, bring a wooden cross and for the love of God do not kiss anybody.
"Baba Yaga"
Marin Theatre Company
397 Miller Avenue. Mill Valley
Until Nov. 3
$30-$80
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