Koorosh Ostowari: Grandma's Million-Dollar Scheme: UNRATED

Don't let the catchy title fool you: "Grandma's Million-Dollar Caper" has little to do with Grandma or her rather minor-league caper. Koorosh Ostowari is a real estate flipper in the '70s and '80s, taking advantage of uninformed sellers to cash in himself. Then he meets a Mrs. Johnson who does the same to him. There is no caper, he is just greedy and stupid. She takes his money. That's it.

This all takes place within the first fifteen minutes of Koorosh Ostowari's ninety minute one-man show and never comes up again. Mrs. Johnson may or may not be anyone's Grandma. She is old and black and that appears to be from whence the humor is to be drawn.

The heart of the show is a young Persian immigrant's attempts to fit in to a new society. We like his depiction of his mother and their lives in East, not West, San Mateo. But the great bulk of this show is dedicated to a man using meditation and mindfulness to help prisoners, all the while amassing real estate with his mother and acting like a typical landlord. We would like to identify with him but he tells us little about himself. 

For example: how does this young man come up with the $500,000 for Mrs. Johnson to make off with, or the cool $1million to renovate the place?

Ostowari's story would be more resonant if we could take him more seriously but as a performer he does little to win us over. He is very good with accents but parts of the story are just silly, if not downright insulting, like his Black character LeRoy getting the Buddhists to hiphop while praying and the "little monk" hiding behind a tree to devour a juicy steak.

Comedy is supposed to straddle the line. Mr. Ostowari needs to decide who he is laughing with and who is he laughing at. 

RATINGS: UNRATED

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"Grandma's Million-Dollar Scheme

The Marsh

1602 Valencia St., San Francisco

Through 8-23-25

$25-$35

The Magnolia Ballet: ★★ BANG

Ezekiel Mitchell VI is a Black teenager living with his widowed father in a small town in rural Georgia. He is fond of Danny Mitchell, a White teenager living close by. The boys are attracted to each other, but there are problems. White Danny’s father has grown up with Black Ezekiel’s father. White Mr. Mitchell used to call Black Mr. Mitchell “Nigger Mitchell.” So we understand Black Mr. Mitchell being angry at White Mr. Mitchell, and by extension, at his son, and by further extension, at the whole damned world. Being kind or affectionate shows weakness, and is therefore out of the question for Ezekiel’s father. (The terrific Drew Watkins plays both fathers.)

Ezekiel, played by Jayden Griffin, seeks affection with benefits from Danny (Nicholas René Rodriguez ) but Danny is still denying he is gay, though he smokes a lot of weed and likes it when his own horn gets tooted by Ezekiel.

This Shotgun Players production, written by Terry Guest and directed by Aejay Antonis Marquis attempts to couch a simple story in a mojo-swampy Southern veneer, a la “Sinners,” but that only goes so far. The white boy can’t come to terms with having sex with the black boy. The dads are useless. That’s pretty much it, despite some flashy production touches.

There is an appartion (played by the excellent Devin Cunningham) who may or may not be Ezekiel’s PawPaw. We find out that PawPaw has had a male lover as well. 

The show is long, close to two hours with no intermission. Flashbacks and unrelated set pieces, like Black Scarlett O’Hara, are humorous but slow down the flow and suggest a review more than a resolvable story. However, the ensemble has a great deal of life. It may be that the show needs editing, which is sure to happen as the summer run continues. A cast this good just needs to have a little more space.

RATINGS: ★★ BANG

The San Francisco Theater Blog grants “The Magnolia Ballet” Two Stars with a Bangle of Praise for the hard-working multi-talented cast. At this point, you go see "The Magnolia Ballet" for the actors. 

“THE MAGNOLIA BALLET”

Shotgun Players

1901 Ashby Avenue, Berkeley

Wed. - Sun. through August 10, 2025

$20-$80

My Fair Lady ★★★★★ BANG

 

The last time we saw “My Fair Lady” was the last year of San Francisco Playhouse’s old Sutter St. theater. It received a ★★★★★ WOO HOO rating, the highest in San Francisco Theater Blog’s history. Yes, the folks there really loved Henry Higgins and the entire bloomin’ Dolittle family. But that show, in 2013, in a 90-seat theater, with two dueling pianos set up on either side of the stage instead of a full orchestra, was intimate and sensational. Could SFP do it again?

Be assured that 2025’s production is bigger, sharper and glitzier, featuring Dave Dobrusky’s bursting orchestra and Nicole Helfer’s standout choreography, plus crackerjack performances by the entire ensemble. But it’s still intimate and, to our delight, is every bit as terrific as before.

Lerner and Loewe’s magnificent piece of theater has defined what a musical should be since its debut in 1956. That’s a long time for songs to remain relevant, social issues to stay important (and unresolved), and, most importantly, for us to still be able to root for poor Eliza and ridiculous Henry. And the music: the entire evening, start to finish, will super-glue itself into your hum center. You may wake yourself up singing “You said that you would do it, you did it, you did it!”…

…Or “I Could Have Danced All Night.” 

…Or “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly.” 

…Or the whizbang “Get Me to the Church on Time.”

Adam Magill is a perfect Henry and Jillian A. Smith an equally perfect Liza. Smith even looks a little like Audrey Hepburn. 

But for us the star of the evening is Jomar Tagatac as Alfred P. Dolittle. Stanley Holloway is the gold standard for Alfie, but believe us when we say Tagatac is hot on Holloway’s heels. A splash of Cockney lives inside this man.

And congratulations to Bill English for steering this large cast in the right direction from beginning to end.

We all loved "Hamilton," but we didn't wake up singing the tunes, did we? Lerner and Loewe must have known our address, on the street where we live. 

RATINGS: ★★★★★ BANG

We have a few niggles, a flat note here and there, some lines bumping into each other, the voice/music mix a bit wonky, you know, Opening Night stuff. Also, we can’t remember what our previous WOO HOO rating meant. So this time San Francisco Playhouse’s “My Fair Lady” simply receives the highest rating of the year: Five Stars with a Bangle of Praise. The Bangle is for Eliza’s perfect “Aooowwwwww.” Indeed, she’s a good girl, she is. 

“My Fair Lady”

San Francisco Playhouse

450 Post St.

Second floor of Kensington Park Hotel

Through Sept 15, 2025

$52-$135

"Do You Feel The Anger?" ★baub

Let's call it Theater of Mathematical Mindlessness, where a ridiculous situation is presented and then multiplied, the actors trapped inside algorithms that have them shouting "Blowjobs Without Reciprocation" and "Piss Chart!," and the boss carrying around a golf club while turning up the Smarm Dial to eleven.  If humans actually behaved the way these characters do, especially the men, they would be hauled off to the insane asylum and shackled together with Billy Bibbit. 

In fairness to Marin Theater's production of Becca Wolff's "Do You Feel The Anger?" let us assume the absurdity on stage is calculated to lead to a more basic truth, such as loneliness, or despair. Here, the author seems to be making two statements: First, men are blithering, juvenile morons and, second, women in offices are often treated poorly and with disrespect. Points taken.

That took five minutes. The show lasts ninety. 

Please. There is no office, nor any other collection of humans past the age of Cub Scouts, where a male boss (with or without his putter) would never have heard of a woman's period. These situations are so egregious that anger would be more than justified. But there is no anger in "Do You Feel the Anger," except perhaps for the audience who paid good money to see this stuff.

We enjoyed Sam Jackson as Sophia the empathy coach, until she joined on with the juvenile men, ostensibly to save her job. We’re glad Little Spider almost reconciled with her mother at the end, Nice touch. 

RATINGS: ★baub

The San Francisco Theater Blog Awards Division grants One Star with a Bauble of Despair to “Do You Feel The Anger?” You get One Star just for doing the work and showing up. The Bauble is for the inexplicable set piece where three women sit on toilets while crouching to pee. You can't make this stuff up.

This rating falls below the Julie Andrews Line (See Side Bar at right for explanation).

“Do You Feel The Anger?”

Marin Theater Company

397 Marin Avenue, Mill Valley

Through June 29

$$47-$85

"Doodler" ★★★ BANG

He is house manager, stage manager, writer and performer all at once. He also holds out a hat at the end for donations. One of the many impressive things about John Fisher's solo piece "Doodler" is that solo means solo. Fisher does it all - controls the lights, the cues, requests audience participation and rides his bicycle across the stage, all the while acting out a fascinating San Francisco historical piece about a never-found serial killer. 

The Doodler was real - a serial killer who lured gay men into liaisons on the beach. Their bodies were discovered the next day, covered with stab wounds. Fisher's story, on the surface, is about one young man who decides to find and stop the Doodler. But it is at its core a coming-out story familiar to many gay boys, in which they find a way to stop feelings of inadequacy and discover the joys of being who they really are. 

John Fisher is a great performer - funny, wry, breaking the fourth wall continually to get his audience cheering and making battle and sex sounds. He is able to change voices mid-sentence as one character turns into another. We loved gravely-voiced Mama, the Queen of Finocchio's, and also Glen the Pothead ("Duuuude!"), the Joan Crawford bit and the terrific set pieces behind stacks of apology pancakes at Orphan Andy's. 

And Moroney the Cop, the symbol of police brutality towards gay men that was a given in 1970s San Francisco.

This is a wonderful performance. The ending is perhaps a bit far-fetched, but by then we are totally on the side of the good guy. His short homage to Supervisor Harvey Milk, who in real life was murdered by a cop, brings us right back to the city we live in today. 

                                                                                          RATINGS: ★★★BANG

The San Francisco Theater Blog Awards Division grants THREE STARS with a Bangle of Praise to John Fisher's "Doodler." The stars are for the show and the Bangle is for Fisher's keeping us involved with his story while simultaneously doing a balancing act with lights and cues. He's a magician on stage and a lot of fun. 

"Doodler"

The Marsh

1062 Valencia St., San Franisxco

Fridays and Saturdays through July 6

$25-$35

The Curious Incident of The Dog in the Night-Time: ★★★★ BANG

Adapted by Simon Stephens from a novel by Mark Haddon, and winner of multiple major awards since its debut in 2012, including Drama Desks and a Tony for Best Play of 2015, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” is unlike anything else you’ve seen. It is that rare show where one actor dominates a ten-person ensemble and pulls us out of our seats and into his world. We suspect Brendan Looney will win numerous personal awards for this stellar  performance.

Looney, who is autistic in real life, plays Christopher, an autistic English teenager who cannot understand why the world works as it does. He sees what we can’t see. Things are true or they’re not and there is no in-between. He is brilliant but fragmented, and his fears and jerky physical movements are echoed by frenzied music and precision choreography that only makes sense when you think about it in the car driving home. 

Gee, trying to take a train to London. We want to jump on stage and just buy him the ticket. For Christopher, everything is an agonizing voyage of discovery. Train coming. Stop. Doors Open. Train going. Silence. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Sophia Alawi, as Christopher’s teacher and Liz Sklar, as his mother, have interesting turns in the plot, but this show is all about Christopher. He walks on a wire across chasms of everyday chaos. Will he make it? And will Brendan Looney really be able to repeat this brilliant and taxing performance for six more weeks?

RATINGS: ★★★★ BANG

The San Francisco Theater Blog Awards Division was blown away by Brendan Looney. We grant “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” Four Stars with a Bangle of Praise for the phenomenal coda, a tour de force of acting, lighting, electronics and sound. 

Folks, don’t miss this one.

“The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time”

San Francisco Playhouse

450 Post Street (2d floor of Kensington Park Hotel)

Through July 21, 2025

$35-$145

"Fat Ham" ★★★★

They say there is no blood on the pulled pork in James IJames’s “Fat Ham,” but we're not so sure. We get Margo Hall directing, a terrific ensemble of actors, a danceable music score and a story that has plenty of meat to go with all that grease. The story jumps in a direction that was somewhat unexpected, given it’s connection with Hamlet, written by William Shakespeare, the old white guy who published it in 1603. But we see where the story is going for the entire one hour and forty minutes, so there are no surprises here.

It’s difficult to say who the stars are - each actor gives us something to love. Jordan Covington starts us off as Tio (above, with chin in hand), best friend and cousin of Juicy, played by Devin A. Cunningham. Juicy is fat and gay, Tio is slim and horny. Tio is happy, Juicy is morose. 

Ron Chapman is one scary dude, both as the frightening ghost of the slain Pap and Pap’s evil brother Rev. We especially love Courtney Gabrielle Williams as Opal, the only character who seems at peace with herself.

Jenn Stephens, who looks great in turquoise, Phaedra Tillery-Boughton, who really knows how to pray, and Samuel Ademola, the one character whose confession seems forced, round out the cast. 

It truly is a shame that Rev, the mean pitmaster, was such a hard head — “He really did know his way around a pig.” 

RATINGS ★★★★

The San Francisco Theater Blog Awards Division has but one reviewer in charge of gender-bending Elizabethan dramas about barbecue. We are granting “Fat Ham” Four Stars. The show is a lot of fun and clearly an audience favorite. Shoutout for the prayer sequence.

And here’s the rub: It’s on the pork. Fat Ham feels like a hit.

_____

“Fat Ham”

San Francisco Playhouse

450 Post St. (Second floor of Kensington Park Hotel)

Through 4-19-25

$35-$135